I took today off work. It was part stomach pain and part mental exhaustion.
My job requires being at a desk all day. While what I do is non-stop, that doesn’t stop my brain from wandering; whether it’s about work or my personal life.
I’ve been dreaming about my brother a lot. It brings my actual dream to a grinding halt.
I see him as when he was younger. Suddenly, my parents are there. We all stop and say “David, we miss you; don’t you know that”? I feel a sudden surge of emotion and try to reach out to him. Sometimes I really think it’s my brother and other times, I know it’s just me wishing it was. #JustWitchyThings
Not to mention how guilty I feel calling off (like that genuinely matters; I have days off to use-mental health days are important). I just “cling” to guilt. It’s like my go-to emotion and it’s fucking killing me.
I cried today. When I think of my brother, I’m usually okay. The past week? Definitely not okay.
It felt really damn good to cry, though. I felt immense relief.
When in doubt: cry it out.
I guess.
The Phoenix & Grieving 