My soul (was) screaming?

The winter months are fast approaching and I’m so tired. Life has been handing my parents big “FU’s” left and right.

Last night, as I laid in me and my boyfriend’s bed, I just cried buried my face in the haphazard covers strewn on the bed. I just finally yelled out loud, “What else do you WANT?! Isn’t this enough?! Haven’t we SUFFERED enough”?

This is the really weird part: I felt relieved after I said it, like something horrific and swirling with hate released from my soul.

So I sat there for a second and said to myself “Clearly I’m overwhelmed and saying that out loud just helped me, right?” Sometimes we have to say things out loud to believe it. The rest of my evening was so…nice. Calm. Like something detached from me. I didn’t think about it too much: a calm night is absolutely okay with me!

I’m not one to automatically assume something magical happens. I consider myself very cautious before I call an event paranormal/magical/etc in any way.

However, I talked to my Mom today and she seemed better mentally. My parents told me good news about my Dad’s long-term disability-and how things are looking up for his social security benefits. THEY SOLD THEIR HOUSE two weeks ago and they’re now looking at other places.

I’ve been feeling sick (thanks climate change), but I’m starting to feel better AND I didn’t take prednisone today.

I’m a major believer in making your own future. If this is the result of hard work, a divine intervention or even a magical elf pulling the strings of the universe, I’ll take it.

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