Depression, Rest & Reality

Sleep is the absolute cornerstone of wellness. No, I’m not a doctor, but I can attest to the power of good sleep. All my body wants is sleep…and time to figure out and sort my feelings.

Today is exactly one month until the 1st anniversary of my brother’s death. I’m having a difficult time with this approaching date.

The day of my brother’s death was the worst day of my life. When I’ve been home alone (boyfriend being at work; closing shifts) I just say out loud, looking at the door “David, please walk through that door. I’ll make you something really good to eat and then we’ll play games“! I cry so hard I start coughing. The crying is temporary, but hits hard.

I wasn’t like that a few months ago. Coupled with events going on with my parents and stress at work, it’s like my body is saying enough is enough. I feel like my brain is being squeezed.

My fitness has declined and so has my overall diet. I was reminded of that today when I met with my trainer and was horrified by the number on the scale.

I think I should follow my Mom’s example and talk to my psychiatrist. Little things set me off and I feel overwhelmed when I go home and see something that’s dirty. I know that isn’t normal for me. Grief sucks, but I can’t live like this.

We really do make our own hope.

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